Body Neutrality – a new way?

I can´t even begin to tell you how many times I wrote and deleted this blog post. Or how long it took me to even write the first paragraph.

The reason? This picture.

 

Body Neutrality
On the right my amazing Tribal Fusion teacher Tricia Pash Tribal Fusion Dance

 

I wanted to write about my dance class, about Tribal Fusion (the limited knowledge I have of it at least), about happy things.

But whenever I looked at the picture above, all I could see was my belly.

And it isn´t just a bad angle. This is how my belly looks right now, and my kids are not to blame.

I was very lucky in both pregnancies, I didn´t get any stretch marks nor Diastasis Recti, and a few months ago my stomach area, though not a six pack, was a lot less flabby.

 

Tribal Fusion Makeup
Close up of the makeup I wore for the show

 

What happened? I had to stop working out (read here why) and I love to eat. One used to balance the other, but after three months of barely any exercise all muscles were gone and the scales showed a few extra kilograms.

So far, so profane, I bet many of us have been there. What struck me the most was how it affected my mood. I always considered myself to be a Body Positive Person, I worked out to stay fit and healthy and didn´t really chase a certain weight with passion.

But suddenly I didn´t feel very positive about my body anymore, and that just based on looks. I mean, it still served me very well, I was healthy and mobile, so why the sudden urge to hide a picture of myself taken in a very happy moment?

And how could I admit that when body positivity is the mantra all over social media?

Am I a traitor to the cause because I admit to not love my body right now? Or am I not allowed to talk about Body Positivity and body image issues anyway, because I am not overweight, but simply not one of the fit girls on instagram?

That was when I came across an article on Body Neutrality (here) that helped me tremendously. Instead of feeling guilty because I felt bad about my body, I tried to let go of any emotional connotation.

No more desperately trying to wholeheartedly love my stomach and feeling like a failure because I didn´t. But at the same time not hating my belly (or my butt) because they don´t look like I want them to.

A neutral stand is what I am aiming for now – let´s see how that goes.

 

Oh, and if you want to learn more about Tribal Fusion and my teacher, here are her social media handles (not an advertisment, I just love her!)

Facebook: Tricia Pash Tribal Fusion Dance

Instagram @tribal_fusion_pash

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