Date Night Vlog – A night in the woods

And then she started vlogging… But hey, you asked for it! At least some of you did.


Date Night Vlog - A night in the woods
Date Night Vlog – A night in the woods


For a start, I take you with me on a date night with Mr. Loca, accompanying him on a hunt (don’t worry, no blood was spilled) and enjoying lots of shooting stars.


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Please tell me if you want to see more stuff like that. But be warned, my life usually is not that exciting!


My labor and delivery story

No breaking news: I had a baby in early March. And you are probably tired of me banging on about it.

But many of you asked for more background information, so I figured I would film a little video, taking you with me on the journey to the hospital and into the delivery room.


My labor and delivery story


Well, not really into, just narratively into, because

a) I don’t think anyone would want to see the bloody details and

b) I had many other things on my mind that did not include picking up a camera.

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Changes – Not my typical blogpost

As the title gives away, I am here to talk about changes.

Necessary changes, that I briefly mentioned here already and that are based on the changes my life has gone through.

How many times can I say changes in the first paragraph?

The Baltic Sea in winter


Many of you will know already, I had my second child this month. And if you have children yourself (or know someone who has and suddenly disappeared completely), you will know how little time is suddenly left in your day for all the things you used to do before.

Like, sleep.

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Body image after giving birth

Now that you are reading this, Peanut will most likely have arrived and I will be completely caught up in the wants and needs of this tiny human being.

And while the first weeks (months?) after welcoming a new member of the family are usually spend in a fog caused by hormones, sleep deprivation and utter exhaustion, I know that I will someday emerge, look into a mirror and try my very best not to hate what I see.


Both are nursing bras... but they do have quite a different vibe to them, don't you think?
Both are nursing bras… but they do have quite a different vibe to them, don’t you think?


This post, of course, needs a disclaimer. I am fully aware of the wonder that growing a human being is, of the amazing things my body has done and that being healthy both myself and my child is the only thing that really matters.

But even if I tell myself that 100 times, and yes, I know it is superficial: I wished I´d look different than I do now anyway.

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Necessary changes and my 39 weeks bump update

I may have mentioned it a few times before: I am quite a perfectionist. I can´t do things in a relaxed, easy way, and I struggle with giving myself a break.

And as much as I tell myself that blogging is a hobby and should be treated as such, the last weeks have seen me at my desk pretty much 9 to 5, writing, scheduling and ticking off to do lists.


Ostsee im Winter (9 von 9)
Unsure about the things to come…


Just like a full-time job. Only without the salary.

It all worked out very well. I have a lot of content prescheduled, some videos prerecorded and am pretty much set until May.

But with Peanut due in early March, the question will be how I continue then.

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Stretch mark prevention and my 33 weeks bump update

I hate to be the one to break the horrible news to you, but there is no scientifically proven, fool-proof way to prevent stretch marks on a pregnant body.

The main reason for this is the fact that stretch marks are lacerations deep down in the connective tissue of the skin caused by the necessary expansion, in an area no cream or oil is able to penetrate.

Stretch mark prevention
Stretch mark prevention

But don’t loose hope. There still are some things you can do to decrease the risk a little.

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The Travel Photo Tag – my trip down memory lane

When the originally planned content didn’t happen for today, I turned to Twitter to ask whether I should do an impromptu video or just reschedule already written content.

No one answered, so I had to decide myself.

A few weeks ago the lovely Melissa from Kiss & Makeup Beauty Blog shared „The Travel Photo Tag“ on YouTube and as I had been meaning to take part anyway, I settled for a chatty trip down memory lane.

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Please feel free to share your top five pictures either in a blogpost or a video, I am in the mood for some travel stories!

Or tell me if you are planning on doing some traveling in 2016?




Driving home for Christmas and my 28 weeks bump update

I am writing this sitting at my parents house, back against the mantle of the fireplace, my laptop on the table that used to hold my latin books and my tea pot. My daughter is laughing while she plays with her grandparents in the next room and my sisters are about to arrive any time.

I must have spend countless hours here...
I must have spend countless hours here…

Christmas has always been the time of year where we all meet back here, joined by aunts, uncles, cousins and family friends on the 25th or 26th. And while it has been that way ever since I moved out at the age of 19, family has become even more important to me once I had my daughter.

But even if I could ramble on and on about family and get all emotional (it is almost Christmas after all), this is not going to be a soppy post.

I have some big news to share with you guys, and they needed that little introduction.

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The Love/Hate Tag – Tagged by Carol in a page

I don’t usually do to many tags, but every now and again someone as lovely as Carol from Carol in a Page comes along and tempts me to write a little more about myself.
And let´s be honest, who doesn’t like talking about themselves? Vain creatures that we are…

This particular tag asks you to list ten things you love versus ten things you hate, after thanking the person that nominated you of course (Thank you, Carol!).
So without further ado, let´s move on to my lists…

Ten things I love:

1. Afternoon naps with Mr. Loca
I never used to be much of a day-sleeper, I usually don’t wake up refreshed, but confused and moody. But fitting in a nap with my husband once Little Bean is asleep feels like a little vacation and is even more precious because it is so rare these days.

2. Watermelon
If I could, I´d live off watermelon all year round. No other food needed. Seriously.

3. Seasons changing
Even though I have complained many times that I am not ready for summer to end, deep down in my heart I love to see the seasons changing. If only fall was less rain and more crunchy leaves around here…

4. Coming from a big family
I have three sisters and three cousins which I see several times throughout the year, as well as a few more that I see a little less, and I love the diversity that gives our meetings.
And of course my wonderful, loving parents as well as my own children, perfect addition to the family and source of joy and sleepless nights.

5. Returning home from work after the cleaning lady was there
I really dislike doing household chores (see below), but I dislike a messy place even more. So I decided very soon that investing in a cleaning lady was a smart thing, and the joy it gives me to return home after a long day of work and everything is magically clean and sparkling is beyond measure.

6. Travel
If you are a long time reader of my blog, that comes to no surprise. I need to be traveling to stay sane. The world is so big and there are so many beautiful places I have yet to discover, how could I stay at home all the time?

7. Food
I know, it is kind of redundant to point 2, but I really, really enjoy food and eating. Especially if someone else cooks. And cleans the kitchen. See point 5…

8. Ticking off things from my to-do list
Sounds just as sad as it is, but I get that sense of accomplishment when I can tick something of my list. I enjoy it so much, I sometimes write things I already did on my list, just to get to tick them off. These days I use an iPhone app, so I don’t waste so much paper…

9. Being independent
This is most likely the least romantic thing you will hear me say (and I will make up for it, see point 10), but I just need to know that I can always take care of myself and leave whoever I am spending my life with if I need to. I need my money, my phone and my old-age provision, and it is one of the reasons why staying at home with only my husband earning money isn’t an option. I would feel trapped…

10. My husband
He is the love of my life, my travel companion, father to our beautiful daughter and soon to our second child. He never fails to make me laugh. He is the perfect opposite to my over-planning, over-thinking self and of course drives me nuts with his spontaneous change of plans. But I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Ten things I hate:

I have thought long and hard about this section, and then decided to leave it bare. There are a lot of things I dislike (household chores), but hate is such a strong word I really don’t want to use it for trivial stuff.
I am very lucky to say that there is nothing I hat about my life, not even the weight I am gaining (again!) or the fact I need to get up at 5 am everyday and am constantly tired.
Rereading this it sounds very soppy, and I know that the intention of the tag was not hate in it´s strongest, purest form, but bare with me and blame it on my hormones:
There is nothing I really hate.

Of course you should tag ten more people after you finished, but I will not do that and instead leave you to answer in the comments:
Anything in my list that you can relate to?

Leave a comment

Under Pressure – Breastfeeding

When you are having a baby, there are a million things you worry about.
You start reading books on what to eat during pregnancy so your offspring will be all set for winning the Nobel prize.
You spend hours researching the right kind of mattress for your baby´s crib.
You read debates on whether or not to carry your baby, while expert mothers of four fight battles against each other in the depths of the internet regarding self-soothing.

But there is one thing you can read wherever and whenever the topic comes up:
Thou shall breastfeed!
And: Every woman can breastfeed. If you don’t, you´re just not trying hard enough.

With this being said, let me share my story.

I didn’t worry about breastfeeding at all.
Women have been doing it for centuries, I am healthy, I have boobs (average sized, two of them) and I can handle a little pain.

In the beginning, everything went all right. Little Bean started to nurse within minutes after she was born, it felt comfortable, easy and I was completely relaxed.
Apart from a little soreness there were no problems whatsoever.

Fast forward three weeks, things started to change.
She would want to nurse all the time, giving me only 20 minutes break, she was uneasy, crying a lot and would stay on the breast for at least 1.5 hours every time.
Of course I read a lot on that topic, talked to my midwife and we agreed that my supply was probably a little low. As I really wanted to keep on breastfeeding exclusively, I decided to „work on it“.
After all: Every woman can breastfeed!

The first attempt was increasing the supply by increasing the frequency of nursing. I was a little limited there, because I was already nursing so much, but for the sake of breastfeeding I quit anything else and stayed on the couch, Little Bean attached.
During the early evenings, where she would sleep for four hours straight, I would use a pump and pump every hour, to tell my body we needed more milk.

Sadly, this didn’t help at all, and Little Bean stopped gaining weight.
She had never been a chubby baby, but now she started to look very delicate.

So the midwife suggested, I probably didn’t eat enough. She hinted young mothers would focus on loosing weight too much and thus reduce the calorie intake.
And even though I hadn’t really lost much weight since giving birth, I obeyed and ate even when I wasn’t hungry.
I ate all the recommended foods: Oats, dairy, nuts, and I ate a lot of them.
So much that I actually gained weight.

But my supply wasn’t increasing.
Little Bean was six weeks then and she wouldn’t sleep at all during the days, she would cry a lot and nurse, nurse, nurse.

I started taking fenugreek pills, a homeopathic treatment I didn’t believe in, because I was desperate.
No improvement.

So I was sitting there on the sofa, sore from nursing non-stop, with a crying baby refusing to sleep or let go of me, beating myself up because I obviously was such a failure as mother that my own baby was starving at my breast.
And that while, as you know: Every woman can breastfeed!

The midwife called and had a final tip she wanted to offer:
She told me I should try and relax, because the pressure I was putting on myself was most likely the reason my supply was low.

I had a total breakdown.
Mr. Loca took Little Bean from me, fed her some formula and she immediately stopped crying and went to sleep.

That, of course, wasn’t the end of the story.
Whenever Little Bean got hungry, I´d breastfeed her for at least 30 minutes and then offered her formula. To prevent my supply form decreasing further, I kept using a breast pump every hour during daytime.
Little Bean gained weight and stopped crying, everything was fine.

Or could have been, if people would keep minding their own business.
One day I was out with a friend for brunch as it was her birthday. I nursed Little Bean and then, after 30 minutes of nursing, offered her some formula.
A woman, sitting a few tables apart, rose and came up to me.
„If you offer formula, your supply is going to decrease. You should breastfeed your baby exclusively.“
I should have told her to back off, but I was still blaming myself, so I tried to explain that my supply was too low and that I was trying.
Her answer: „Well, maybe you´re not trying hard enough. Every woman can breastfeed!“

So now, one year after this incident, I am writing this post to tell you: That isn’t true!
Yes, the majority of woman can breastfeed. But not all of them, and not all of them exclusively. Some woman lack breast tissue (not to be confused with cup size), so there won’t be enough for even one child while others can easily feed twins. This is why there were wet nurses back in the days.
Sometimes you can try as hard as humanly possible and it is not going to change.

I nursed Little Bean until she was five months old and refused to drink on my breast any longer. Looking back at these months now, I don’t understand why it was so hard for me to accept the fact that my supply was low and why I kept feeling like a total failure.
If we have a second child, I will try to breastfeed again for sure.
But I will never again put myself and the people around me under that much pressure solely for the purpose of doing so exclusively.